


Dinner With A Shark

by ElenCelebrindal



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Requited Love, Ryoga is not better, Yuma is an emotional wreck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 02:29:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17153597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElenCelebrindal/pseuds/ElenCelebrindal
Summary: What happens if Yuma writes a wish, and that wish finally comes true?The card he had tied on one of the branches, had a much different kind of wish on it. For the first time in years, Yuma’s handwriting depicted a personal wish.Something he desired for a long time, but never had the courage to pull into the light.[...]“Let him notice how much I really care”[...]Ryoga pushed away strands of rebel red hair and lay his forehead on Yuma’s: «I’m never going to leave, Yuma», he said, his breath tickling on the other man’s lips. «You’ll never lose me».





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas, everyone!
> 
> I wanted to write a Sharkbaitshipping for quite some time now, and I figured what better time than Christmas?   
> So yeah, I hope you like it.
> 
> Quick note before you start reading, though. I kept most of the names of the dub, but... there was no way I would have used Reginald, when Ryoga is much better. He's called Ryoga, but that's it for the original names.

Heartland was shimmering with thousands and thousands of lights. Strings of tiny light-bulbs resembling sparkling snow hung from the front of various shops, all doors were bordered by tear-shaped lights, twinkling with rainbow and white.   
The trees lined up on the sides of the main streets were all covered by a colorful sparkle, and in the middle of the city a massive Christmas tree stood tall and proud, covered with bright white fake snow, myriads of simulated stars and lots and lots of other ornaments, from gold glittering bells to big glass orbs, painted or filled with various or weird materials and ideas.   
Dangling from the lowest branches, there were hundreds of Duel Monsters cards signed by all those people who wanted to make a wish, or to leave a message for a passed away loved one.   
Yuma used to take one of his cards and write something on it, often for his parents, rarely for himself, when he was a child, but he stopped the tradition when he began attending high school.   
He grew up full of hope, and hope never gave him anything, so he decided to give it up, eventually.  
Some time after, following the insane events he had been through with and without Astral, Yuma made up his mind one more time, and settled on leaving again his messages, but for the people who really needed help. Sure, a few lines of text written on a card were just words, but Yuma liked the feeling that followed.   
Yuma liked the warmth those positive and encouraging thoughts infused him with, and he also tried to donate something to charity every year, to give a more tangible mean to written wishes.

 

However, the card he had tied on one of the branches, carefully avoiding the glass orbs to not break them, had a much different kind of wish on it.  
For the first time in years, Yuma’s handwriting depicted a personal wish.   
Something he desired for a long time, but never had the courage to pull into the light.   
Yuma glanced at the card he hung and suppressed a sad smile: the shark of the artwork seemed menacing and dangerous, so similar to the first impression he had of the person who used that same card.  
“Big Jaws” was the first card Shark, as people called him back then, had summoned on the field during their first Duel. And it was one of the cards he overlaid to Special Summon the first Number Yuma ever faced, “Number 17: Leviathan Dragon”.   
Thinking about that Duel, Yuma shook his head; they had been both so naïve and brash, so reckless because of the stakes.   
They dueled again, after that first battle. Again and again, until they started knowing every single move the other was going to do, both of them so hopelessly predictable in their eyes.   
They dueled until they developed a strong and durable friendship, much more solid than the one they started building during their school years, although not less fierce.

 

Some of Yuma’s old friends didn’t want him to hang out so much not only with Ryoga, but also with his sister Rio and the other Barians, thinking poorly about their character growth, but the black-haired duelist didn’t care too much about their opinion.   
Sure, they still were his friends, but they were wrong. Positively worried, but wrong nonetheless.   
Yuma sighed, staring at the Fish-Type card dangling from the Christmas tree, and finally turned his back to it, leaving the crowded square to head back home.  
It was late, after all, and his sister was certainly waiting for him to come home for dinner.

 

Despite Yuma being a fully fledged adult by then, Kari still treated him as a little brother in need of protection. More than ever, after witnessing the huge amount of nightmares, sleepless nights and crying crisis Yuma had been through after the whole mess with the interdimensional war and Astral’s disappearance.   
Yuma still clutched at his chest, sometimes, missing the familiar weight of the Key around his neck.   
Noticing the course of his thoughts, Yuma distracted himself by eyeing a food stand not far from him, not wanting to indulge too much in unpleasant memories and considerations, and headed straight towards it, attracted by the smell of sweet chocolate and caramel.  
Taking a mental note on avoid eating too much before dinner, Yuma scanned the list of options neatly written on a blackboard and chose a simple cup of hot milk chocolate, served with whipped cream, chocolate chips and a spoon carved in white chocolate, all sprinkled with caramel drizzle.   
He bought one for his sister too, dark chocolate and whipped cream, paid for both hot drinks and hurried home, to avoid letting them cool.   
The steam coming up from the drinks carried a sweet and inviting smell, that trickled Yuma’s nostrils all the way home.

 

 

 

«I’m back, Kari! I bought you hot chocolate», Yuma announced, opening and closing the door struggling a bit; he didn’t want to spill the hot chocolate by accident.   
After removing his shoes, damp because of melted snow on the streets, Yuma reached the living room and left Kari’s hot beverage on the coffee table, collapsing on the couch soon after to sip at his own.  
It was still steaming, and the man burned his tongue while drinking it. The chocolate spoon already melted, mixing with the drink, but he didn’t mind it.

 

  
«At least take off your jacket. You’re soaking the couch».  
Kari appeared in the door frame, his gaze fixated on the hot chocolate while she was scolding his brother, and plummeted on the couch soon after, sinking in the soft cushions before tasting the drink.

 

  
«It’s not that bad!», Yuma complained, but he got up to remove his jacket without bitching about it too much. It did rain while he was strolling around, after all.

 

 

«You went out early, this morning», Kari commented, when Yuma was once more settled on the couch. «Where’d you go?».

 

  
Yuma shrugged, gulping down the last remnants of his hot chocolate: «I just wanted to walk around. Heartland is beautiful with all these decorations and light».   
Their house, too, was a profusion of lights, garlands, and glittering red and green tablecloths, in every room. Outside, white and gold lights twinkled from sunset to sunrise, spreading out a soft glow on the thin layer of snow that didn’t melt only because no one stomped on it.

 

 

Kari smiled: «You always loved this holiday», she said, putting down her empty cup. «You were always so excited and amazed, and so eager to open your gifts, every year with no exceptions. You still are», she then added, glancing at his brother sideways.

 

 

He had a smile on his lips, but a dull shine in his red eyes: «Yeah… Christmas has always been a nice holiday».

 

 

Kari stared at Yuma with a puzzled look on her face: «Have you left a card on the tree?».

 

 

He nodded: «Before heading here, yes». Then, Yuma sighed: «It’s a different kind of wish, though».

 

 

Kari was about to ask what the difference was, but the voice of their grandma resounded in the living room, calling them both in the kitchen for dinner, so she dropped the issue.

 

 

 

After dinner, a deliciously cooked meal as always, Kari and Yuma helped their grandmother tidying up the kitchen and plopped down on the couch again.  
Reaching for the remote, Yuma turned on the TV and flipped through the channels until he found a movie worth watching, or as Kari called it, an annoying Christmas rhyme turned into a mess of a film.

 

 

«Do you really want to watch it _again_? You literally memorized it», she, in fact, pointed out.

 

 

«Eh, I like it», Yuma simply answered, eyes glued on the screen. «It’s kind of a tradition, by now».

 

 

His sister smiled: «If you put it like that… I’m going to make popcorns. Want some?».

 

 

«Sure».

 

 

Kari left the couch and headed into the kitchen, and soon enough the smell of popcorns, butter and salt filled the air. Kari dumped the popcorns into a large bowl and recovered two sodas from the fridge, and settled back down on the couch.

 

 

They watched the movie without talking, notwithstanding the occasional comment, and when the credits started rolling bowl and cans were empty.  
Yuma stood up to clean the mess they’d done while eating popcorns, throwing the empty soda cans away, and tried to sneak into his room without facing his sister.

 

 

Kari, however, was a step ahead of Yuma, and was waiting for him in his room, seated on the bed.  
«There’s something bothering you, Yuma. What is it?».

 

 

Yuma lowered his gaze: «What gave it away?».

 

 

«You seemed a bit… down, when I mentioned the card for Heartland’s Christmas tree. Is everything okay?».

 

 

He smiled at his sister: «I can’t hide anything from you, uh?».   
Sighing, Yuma sat down near Kari and scratched the back of his head, threading his hand in long locks of dark hair: «It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it. I’m just… confused».

 

 

Kari frowned: «Confused? Why?».

 

 

Yuma shrugged: «I don’t know well myself. It’s just… I don’t know if I’m confused by my wish, or by the _reason_ behind my wish».

 

 

«What did you write on the card?».

 

 

«Something for me, for once», he admitted. «But I’m not so sure about it, now. What if… what if that wish comes true? I won’t know how to deal with it, in that case».

 

 

«Yuma…?».

 

 

He smiled again at her, his eyes clouded with a thin veil of sadness: «“ _Let him notice how much I really care_ ”. That’s what I wrote on the card. And I’m afraid it will actually happen».

 

 

«Let him notice… You’re talking about Ryoga, aren’t you?».

 

 

«There’s no way in denying it, right? I know you never liked him that much, but…».

 

 

«But _you_ like him», she concluded for her brother. «Yuma, I know I’ve been a pain in the ass about him. Honestly, Ryoga didn’t make a good first impression on me when we met, but it’s not up to me to decide on whether you should ask him out or not. You’re an adult, you are entitled your own decisions, and I can’t stand in your way just because I don’t like them. It’s not this that’s upsetting you, is it?».

 

 

Yuma shook his head, reassuringly: «No, it’s not that», he replied. Yuma was grateful for his sister’s words. In all honesty, once or twice he thought about leaving their house, searching for an apartment to live on his own after all the arguments they had about the people he started hanging out with, but in the end he was still there.   
He knew Kari, and in addition his grandma, were just concerned, and he couldn’t blame them too much. So he stayed and tried to fix their relationship by getting them both to know the Barians a little bit more.  
Sure, they didn’t shine bright in Kari’s eyes, but it was a start.  
After the last argument, a particularly rough one, Yuma left and started wandering aimlessly in Heartland, thinking about his life choices. He didn’t came home that night.   
When he returned, Kari hugged him for so long and so tight he couldn’t breathe, and she apologize without an end.   
Yuma knew Kari loved him. She was family, and she was a friend, after all.

 

«It’s just… what if he doesn’t want me around in _that_ way? What if he just wants to be friends, and nothing more? He couldn’t even be gay, for what I know».

 

 

Kari wanted to grin at those words: she hadn’t liked Ryoga at first, but the look in his eyes while looking at Yuma when he wasn’t paying attention was unmistakable. He always stared at him doe-eyed, dazed, just to fall back on his slightly indifferent expression whenever Yuma turned around to look at him.   
However, she put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, to comfort him: «Don’t worry too much about it. You’ll end up anxious for nothing».

 

 

«Maybe you’re right…». Yuma took a deep breath, crossing his legs on the mattress: «What should I do? A wish is just a wish, after all».

 

 

«Maybe you could ask him to go somewhere, tomorrow. Not necessarily a date, you know. Just… hang out wherever you would like. You already do that, don’t you? Keep testing the waters, and if it happens, it will happen because you put effort into it».

 

 

Yuma looked at his sister, then lowered his gaze on the bed: «And what if… what if it doesn’t happen?».

 

 

«Then – Kari crossed her arms – you’ll have to try and keep on living. Be his friend. Don’t isolate yourself or leave him behind just because you tried to show your feelings. It will be difficult, but you care too much to just scrap everything and throw it away».   
Then she smiled, encouraging, and winked: «However, I don’t think you should be this troubled. He fell for you a long time ago».

 

 

At that, Yuma blushed: «W-what?! Come on… don’t be ridiculous», he said, stuttering a little bit. It couldn’t be, right?  
He didn’t want to believe it.  

 

 

«Just… don’t be impulsive, Yuma. You’ll be alright», Kari’s smile widened, and she got up from the bed. «Think about some place to go, message Ryoga, and meet him up there. You can invite him for dinner on Christmas Eve, if he wants to come. I don’t know if the Barians celebrate it, but it’s worth a try».

 

 

«I can’t invite him for dinner… aside from the Barians, he has Rio at home», Yuma replied, pouting.

 

 

«Then, invite her too! We have plenty of space, in any case. Give it a shot. Life’s not easy, especially when your heart is on the line. But if you never try, you are not going to succeed».   
After wishing him goodnight, Kari left Yuma’s bedroom and closed the door behind her.

 

 

Left alone in the dimly lit room, Yuma sighed again and got up from the bed, searching the nearby drawers for a clean pair of pajama bottoms and a shirt to sleep in. After choosing the fluffiest ones he could find, Yuma headed to the bathroom to wash his teeth and take a brief shower, shivering in the cold air when he got out of the steamy water.  
Quickly, he slipped into his nightwear and returned to his room, diving straight under the covers to lure some sleep into his agitated mind.

 

Yuma was weighing his sister’s words about Ryoga, but he couldn’t decide if she was just trying to comfort him or if what she said was true.   
He never paid attention to his friend’s expressions when they went out together, to eat in this or that fast food restaurant, to Duel or to just stroll around while chatting and exchanging news, but he always seemed the same old Ryoga.   
Pokerfaced as always, and so, so attractive…

 

Yuma lost his train of thoughts, his mind frozen on how good Ryoga’s hair framed his face, dark purple locks that always smelled like rose and lavender. His eyes glimmered like pure amethysts under his bangs, so deep and mysterious Yuma lost himself in them more than one time.   
Unconsciously, Yuma closed his started picturing Ryoga’s hands embracing him, his arms hugging Yuma’s slender body in a tender hug. Yuma could feel his heart beat faster, pounding into his chest, as Ryoga’s leaned down to kiss him on the lips.  
He entangled his hands into the purple locks, to delay their parting, to prolong that warm and messy contact he was so eager to receive.   
But then, Yuma opened his eyes, and in front of him there was nothing.  
Just the ceiling, lost in the darkness of the room, only mitigated by a single light bulb on the nightstand.

 

«Dammit», Yuma muttered, covering his eyes with an arm, frustrated.   
Uncomfortable, the man recovered his phone and swiped through the apps, searching for a game, or an app, something able to distract him from his thoughts about Ryoga.  
It wasn’t the first time that happened, either.   
Yuma found himself day-dreaming about Ryoga and himself more often than ever, even in the most random of times.   
Sometimes, he would have dreams so vivid and realistic to drive him crazy.  
More times than he was willing to admit, those fantasies were nothing but a mess of indecency and lewdness, that left Yuma with a slightly more embarrassing problem to deal with in the morning.

 

Eventually, Yuma understood he wasn’t going to sleep unless he swallowed his doubts, so the man clicked on Ryoga’s contact and sent him a message.   
_“Want to hang out tomorrow? We could go the mall for some last minute Christmas shopping. 10 a.m.”_.  
Simple and straightforward.   
No double meanings, no hidden hopes.   
Hopefully, Ryoga would answer in the morning, so Yuma set the phone down on the nightstand, plugged in the charger and turned off the light.


	2. Chapter Two

Yuma woke up at the obnoxious sound of his alarm clock, a terrible screech shattering the quiet of a white winter morning.  
Pissed, Yuma slammed his fist on the device, shutting it up and accidentally sending it straight on the floor, luckily without breaking.   
The weak rays coming from the sun where not bright enough to filter through the curtains draped over the window, so Yuma opened his eyes in a dark room, barely lit by stubborn strands of light.   
Under the door, he could see Kari’s shadow walking down the hallway, but she didn’t bother stopping by to check if Yuma was already awake, like she used to do when he was still in high school.

 

Grumpy because of an almost sleepless night, Yuma sat up and shook off the covers, shuddering at the sudden change of temperature.   
With a big and loud yawn, the man dangled his feet down the side of the bed and forced himself to stand up, stretching his arms above his head before glancing at the phone on the nightstand.   
A green light was flashing above the screen, and Yuma remembered the message he had sent before drifting off to sleep.   
Swallowing, his throat dry all of a sudden, Yuma picked up the phone and unplugged the charger, before checking the new message.   
Indeed, it was a reply to that text, and Yuma felt his heart racing as he read the brief response.

_“Sure, see you there”_.

 

Not at all surprised, Yuma noticed his hands were shaking: was he really that nervous about going out with Ryoga?  
It wasn’t a date, but he never felt panicky for a simple day of shopping with him. Maybe he should just cancel everything, maybe tell Ryoga he wasn’t feeling well…  
No.  
Yuma shook his head, trying to keep his feelings at bay.   
He would go out with Ryoga, spend a nice day with his friend, and then come back home. After inviting said friend for dinner on Christmas day. Because of a desire written on a piece of paper and nanotech.   
«Get it together, Yuma», he said to himself, a whisper lost in the empty room.  
Astral would have tried to help him, despite his lack of knowledge on the matter, in some way or another. He would have encouraged him, or mocked and tricked him into do the right thing.   
But Astral wasn’t there.   
He was gone, for years now.

 

Feeling his stomach tangled in painful knots, Yuma opened the curtains, revealing a white and gray street; snow had fallen during the night, whitewashing everything with fluffy, icy snowflakes. The street was relatively clean, thanks to snowplows and similar vehicles, but all the other surfaces were completely covered, notwithstanding the occasional footprints.   
The light from outside was not bright enough to lit up the room properly, so Yuma turned on the lights and put his head in the closet, searching for a good outfit.  
He rummaged through sweaters and hoodies, and then switched to pants, picking out a simple pair of jeans.  
After a quick trip to the bathroom, in order to wash his face and teeth, Yuma put on the jeans and the hoodie he’d chosen, a custom one Kari gifted him on his 20th birthday: it was white and gold, with a huge “39” on the back.   
Yuma loved it.

 

 

 

The smell of coffee, pancakes and toasts lured Yuma down in the kitchen, where his grandma and Kari were having breakfast.  
«Morning, Yuma», Kari greeted him, gesturing towards a steaming mug on the table. «With lots of sugar. I figured you needed to hurry up», she added, taking a bite from her toast.  
Yuma thanked her, peeking at the time on his phone: 9:30 am.  
Suppressing another yawn, Yuma recovered a plate and dumped some pancakes on it, drizzling some syrup on them before swallowing huge pieces of sweet delightfulness.  
After emptying the plate, Yuma gulped down the coffee and said bye to his sister and grandma, earning a cheering smile from  Kari on his way out.

 

It was still snowing outside, even if slightly, and Yuma hid his face under a huge striped scarf, knitted for him by his grandma years before.   
Around him, children and teenagers were playing in the snow, putting together lumps and balls of it to build snowmen and forts, or to start snowball fights.   
A particularly loud group of kids nearly hit Yuma in the head with a stray snowball, and they shouted “sorry!” at him when he turned in their direction, startled.   
The mall was not far from Yuma’s house, but he got distracted along the way by a newly open Duel Monsters card shop, and arrived ten minutes late.   
As always.

 

 

 

Ryoga, enveloped by a flowing purple coat, was waiting for him near the entrance, seated on the big fountain right in the center of the hall, an embellishment wrapped in radiant sparkles in the form of miniature lights.  
His frowning face was half covered with an emerald green scarf, and he wore his long hair in a high ponytail, except for the lighter colored bangs.   
Yuma suddenly felt a lump in his throat; he was stunning. And gorgeous.

 

Holding back the urge to either run towards Ryoga and hug him, or forfeit the hang out by fleeing and never be seen again, Yuma put both his hands in his pockets and moved his feet, barely able to call his friend: «Ehy, Ryoga! Sorry I’m late, I got…».

 

 

«Distracted», the purple haired man concluded for him. «I figured. So, what are we doing?».

 

 

«Just shopping. I need to buy some last minute gifts, and I didn’t want to wander alone in all the shops. It gets boring after a while», Yuma answered, looking around.   
The impulse to stare at Ryoga’s lips and eyes had never been so strong.  
Was he so tense because of the wish?   
Or was Yuma like always, but the man was realizing only then how much Ryoga’s presence and appearance stirred his insides?

 

His line of thought was completely lost when Ryoga placed himself in front of him, their faces only separated by a few inches, and he drowned in those purple eyes, lost in the shimmer caused by the lights shining in the hall.  
He was about to fuck everything up, his less rational sense telling him to stand on his tip-toes and kiss Ryoga, when the man snatched him from his day-dream.

 

 

«Yuma?! Are you even listening to me?».

 

 

Yuma shook his head, totally lost, and regained his composure just a moment before the disaster.   
With a guilty look in his eyes, he scratched his head and laughed nervously: «Sorry, I wasn’t listening. Can you repeat what you said?».

 

 

«You’re insufferable», Ryoga facepalmed. «I said, we could check out that Build-a-Bear shop on the second floor. I want to buy Rio something, and she likes plushies».

 

 

«Sure, we have all day», Yuma agreed. Then, he frowned: «I didn’t know you celebrated Christmas».

 

 

«You’ve known us for years!».

 

 

«Well, I never asked, didn’t I?».

 

                                                                             

Ryoga sighed: «Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Anyway, we don’t actually celebrate Christmas. It’s kind of a useless holiday, you know, with the whole “murderous aliens” thing. On the other hand, we got used to celebrate it when we were younger, and it’s fun nonetheless».

 

 

Yuma investigated the shops surrounding the entrance hall, and pointed towards one with three mannequins on display, fixed in the weirdest positions ever. One of them, specifically, exhibited a perfect Titanic stance, with its arms wide open. A huge scarf was draped over them, paired with a black outfit.  
The scarf was a combination of bright red, silver and gold, mixed together in a watery look.  
«Oh, that scarf would be perfect for Kari. Come on, I want to see how much it costs!», he exclaimed, grabbing Ryoga by the shoulder to make him follow.

 

 

«As if money is a problem for you, know. How much do they pay you for every victory in tournaments? You donated a lot to charity, last year».

 

 

«I never cared too much about money», Yuma replied, scouting for the scarf.  
He examined five shelves full of neatly piled shirts and hats, until he finally found the object he was hunting for.   
The scarf was soft and warm, and it was made from good quality wool. When Yuma checked the prize tag, he wasn’t surprised to see it was also really expensive.

 

 

«I know. It’s a good thing».  
Curious, Ryoga peeked over Yuma’s shoulder to see if there was something of interest in the shop, and parked his eyes on a black hoodie with sea-themed prints on it.  
«Wait a second for me, I want to check that out», he told Yuma, nodding in the direction of the hoodie.

 

 

«Sure. I’ll pay for this, in the meantime».  
While Ryoga checked out the hoodie, Yuma reached one of the cash registers and stood in line behind a teenage couple, busy exchanging sugary words.  
Yuma’s imaginations, once again, slip in his vision the fantasy of him and Ryoga in their place, whispering sweet nothings at each other before kissing lightly, and he didn’t realize it until the cashier called him out.  
«Oh, sorry!», Yuma apologized, putting the scarf on the counter to let the cashier scan the prize. «Can you bind the box in wrapping paper? It’s a gift», he then asked, smiling.

 

 

A few minutes later, Ryoga reached Yuma at the cash register, with the hoodie in his hands. He paid for it and then glanced at the man: «How many gifts do you need to buy?».

 

 

«I don’t know. I didn’t think about it», Yuma admitted. He wanted to hang out and the mall was one of the most obvious choices, especially in that festive period, but he didn’t really think about how many gifts he wanted to buy.  
Sure, one for each of his friends, but how many friends he had, by then?  
«Do you think I could buy something for the Barians? I don’t know, you’re all my friends, but I don’t know if I can give them gifts»

 

 

Ryoga shrugged, fidgeting with the package of his hoodie: «If you want to buy them something, do it. They won’t complain, that’s for sure. On the contrary, I’m pretty convinced one or two of them would actually hug you. My bet is on Vector».

 

 

The dark haired man shivered at the thought; Vector surely knew how to be clingy and annoying, when it came to Yuma.  
«Don’t you dare let him know, not before I’m at least two or three miles away from him. He’ll never leave me alone. Come on, let’s buy at least gifts for Tori and the others before finding something to eat. I need  to consider the outcome of my gifts to the Barians before getting them».  
Cheerful, Yuma didn’t realize he had taken Ryoga by the hand  to drag him into the next store, another one full of clothing, accessories and shoes.

 

 

On his side, Ryoga didn’t even think to complain about it.

 

 

 

Two hours later, after scouting ten more clothing shops, Yuma finally found the gift he was searching for: a pink and white dress, simple and unadorned, but overall really cute. Before paying for it, the man chose a rose necklace to match and asked for a gift wrap.  
Yuma and Tori stopped seeing each other for a while, both too busy with their own things, but the Duelist kept in contact, not wanting to lose their friendship because of the distance.   
She didn’t participate quite as much also because, for her disappointment, Yuma started hanging out more and more with the Barians, Kite and the Arclight brothers.  
He never wanted to replace his older friends, but they all had given up on Dueling to focus on something else. Also, a lot of them went abroad to attend various universities, leaving only Tori and Cathy in Heartland.

 

Speaking of Cathy, Yuma’s attention was drawn on a cat-like hoodie, and he immediately entered the shop to buy one for her.   
He was so immersed in his task, he didn’t notice how Ryoga was looking at him, frozen in place and absolutely charmed.   
When he turned to look at him, the purple haired switched back to his normal expression, and gave his a thumbs up for the choice.

 

 

«So… do you want to have lunch?», Ryoga said, holding out a hand to Yuma to help him. The man was struggling, trying to balance three different sized boxes with only one arm.   
«Give one of them to me, Yuma», he sighed, in the end. «You’ll end up dropping everything. Why didn’t you ask for a bag?».

 

 

Thankful, Yuma stood still as Ryoga took one of the boxes from his grasp, but as he did that his hand brushed against Yuma’s, and the man’s heart began pounding hard and loud in his chest. Embarrassed by that reaction for such a small thing, he blushed, then realized Ryoga was still watching him.  
Yuma cleared his throat, adverting his gaze, and strengthened his grip on the gifts: «Let’s… let’s just go to eat, ok?».

 

 

«I… ok». Confused, Ryoga took a moment to make up his mind and agree to Yuma’s statement, still holding the biggest of the boxes alongside his own purchase. «Where do we go?».

 

 

«Mh… There’s a Burger World in here. It’s not fancy, but it’s good. Unless you want something different from junk food», Yuma replied. «There’s also a restaurant for that».

 

 

Ryoga thought about it, but then agreed with the fast food one: «Let’s avoid the restaurant», he said.

 

 

And Yuma was more than grateful for that response.   
He and Ryoga in a restaurant together… it seemed too much like a date, and he already screwed up once. He couldn’t afford another slip of his feelings, especially if they came out of the blue.

 

 

 

Half a hour later, filled with cheeseburgers and soda, Yuma and Ryoga wandered on the second floor of the mall, and they both started carrying bags full of gifts and items for themselves.   
Yuma, in particular, had found an entire new wardrobe while searching for a sweater for Vector. He was quite proud of his find, and Ryoga’s eyes lightened up when he saw it. It was a simple gray sweater, but with black wings on the back.

 

Several hours afterwards, the two men sat down on a bench, under the biggest Christmas tree in the mall, and sorted their purchases.   
Yuma put in different bags all the gifts for the Barians, the Arclight brothers (finding something appropriate for Quattro had been a _real_ challenge) and his other friends, including Kite. Then, he realized he was still missing one person.

 

«You said you wanted to check out the Build-a-Bear shop, right?».

 

 

Ryoga nodded: «Yeah, I was planning on going there now. Why?».

 

 

«Well…».   
Yuma tried to think of a way to sneak out and go off to buy a gift for Ryoga, but his mind had planned a different course.   
Like staring at Ryoga’s lips, at the way his coat hugged the man’s perfect figure like it was waiting to be pulled off of him. At the feeble movement his shoulders made, following every breath the man took in his lungs and expelled.  
Abruptly, Yuma stood up and turned his back to Ryoga, hiding his (again) blushing face, flushed red because of his hopeless blood flow.  
But then again, he thanked whatever god was out there his mind didn’t wander in far more dangerous waters.

 

 

«Yuma? Are you okay?».  
Concerned, Ryoga reached for the man in front of him, but he stepped away at the last second.  
«Yuma?!».

 

 

«I… I need to go to the bathroom. Y-you go ahead, I’ll join you in the shop. Don’t be too quick with your bear!», he nearly screamed, his voice so high-pitched it hurt his throat.   
He dashed away without giving Ryoga time to reply, and Yuma realized too late he had left all his bags on the bench.

 

 

 

«Great way to screw up, Yuma», he said to himself, once in the farther bathroom he could find on the floor. His face was still heated up, and the longing desire of Ryoga actually leaning down, kissing him with his soft, sweet lips chewed yet again at his mind.  
He wanted to feel how silky and smooth his skin was, under his own hands, caressing his face, his back, before colliding in a desperate hug.  
«Fuck, control yourself!», Yuma yelled, staring at his reflection in the mirror. He hoped no one was in the stalls behind him, but if someone was, well, he didn’t care that much.

 

Running his hands under icy tap water, he splashed some of it on his face and regained control of his  breathing rhythm, in doing so soothing also his furious heartbeat.   
Yuma took a long, deep breath and stepped outside the bathroom, his composure once again in place.   
Looking around for a quick way to get back to where he was before storming off, Yuma’s eyes captured a shop he had not yet visited.

 

Approaching, he read the banner hung on the door, and realized it was a fancy jewelry store.  
Inside, showcases and glass cabinets were displaying a huge variety of jewels, from necklaces to earrings, to wristwatches.   
Yuma entered the shop, interested, and started examining this or that jewel, amazed by how wonderfully every piece sparkled under the lights hanging from the ceiling.   
One in particular caught his attention, and Yuma took only a brief look at the price tag before pointing it out to the salesman.  
«Can I have that?».

 

The salesman narrowed his eyes, as if he wanted to argue, but then nodded and took the necklace out of the glass case, replacing it with a “sold out” slip of paper.  
The jewelry article shimmered stunningly, shining with gold and amethyst glints, and it was a shame the necklace had to be hidden in a silver-painted box.  
«Should I remove the price tag, sir?».

 

 

Yuma, suddenly brought back to reality, nodded: «Yes, please. It’s supposed to be a gift».

 

 

«Very well».  
Diligent, the salesman removed the price tag from the necklace and placed it delicately in its box, careful not to tangle the thin chain attached to the pendant. He then wrapped it with iridescent paper and handed the package to Yuma.

 

 

For his part, Yuma swiped his credit card and left the shop, hiding the neatly wrapped package in a pocket of his jacket.  
Glancing at his phone, he realized it hadn’t been too long since he’d left Ryoga, so the bathroom excuse could still be considered valid.

 

When he finally got to the shop, Ryoga was still in the middle of the building process of a giant, crystal blue bear, so fluffy it could have been easily mistaken for some sort of alien or fantastic animal.   
«Sorry it took this long, I had to wait», he apologized.   
Then, noticing the huge pile of bags at his feet, he apologized for that too.

 

 

Ryoga brushed it off: «Don’t worry about it. Rather, what’s got into you, Yuma? You’ve been acting strange the whole day».

 

 

Too busy searching for the perfect hue of blue eyes, Ryoga didn’t notice the faint blush appearing on Yuma’s cheeks.  
The man resisted the urge to slap himself, and shrugged: «I don’t know what are you talking about. I’m not doing anything strange», he retorted.   
Yuma didn’t fail to notice one more bag at Ryoga’s feet, signed by the Build-a-Bear shop. Probably another teddy bear he made to give away.

 

 

«Mh. Still, something’s off».   
Frustrated by the lack of blue eyes he was searching for, and by the lack of a proper answer, Ryoga puffed: «Fine, I don’t care. Can you help me find another stupid blue eye? I can’t find one anywhere».

 

 

 

About twenty minutes later, Yuma and Ryoga left the Build-a-Bear shop with one fluffy teddy bear each. In the end, Ryoga talked Yuma into building one himself, and now the man was carrying a puffy bear with a pitch black synthetic fur, streaked here and there with flaming red stripes.   
Its eyes were also red, Ryoga picked them personally, without telling Yuma he wanted them to match perfectly the man’s irises.

 

 

By the time they were down the stairs and back in the entrance hall, it was 8 pm. Which reminded Yuma of the proposal he was supposed to make.  
However, the man forgot how to speak until they reached Ryoga’s motorcycle, parked not far from the entrance.  
His heartbeat unlocked frenzy mode again, but Yuma put on the most plain expression he could pull off in that situation and called him out.  
«Uh, Ryoga?».

 

 

The purple haired man lowered the helmet he was about to wear, and glanced questioningly at him: «Yeah?».

 

 

Yuma swallowed.   
«I… uh».  
Panicking, the Duelist shifted his weight from side to side, and tried to look anywhere else but Ryoga’s face.  
«Do you… do you have plans for tomorrow evening? It’s Christmas Eve, you could… I don’t know. Have dinner with us at my place».  
He tried to throw it there, like he didn’t care that much, but the attempt was not really successful.  
Embarrassed out of his mind, Yuma took a few steps backwards, but before he could say anything to patch up the damage he heard Ryoga’s smile in his answer.

 

 

«I would like to».

 

 

«R-really? That’s amazing! I’ll tell Kari to add one more seat, then! Or… or two. You could bring Rio, if you want! Christmas is supposed to be family, after all».

 

 

«Sure, why not? She will be happy to be included. I hope it’s not a problem, we don’t come over a lot… you know, with the whole mess we’ve been through and everything».  
Ryoga put the problem out in the open, but just because he was still a bit scared by Yuma’s sister.  
A thunder would strike him down before he admitted that out loud, though.

 

 

«Don’t worry about it! it’s fine», Yuma replied, a tad more confident. «You can stay the night, too. Kari won’t mind».  
Especially, Yuma wouldn’t mind.   
Again, with the forbidden fantasies of Ryoga, half naked and lying into his bed, quietly sleeping and cuddling in the warmth of Yuma’s arms…

 

 

«Are you sure Kari wouldn’t… Yuma? …Yuma!».

 

 

Dazed, Yuma snapped out of his day-dreaming at Ryoga’s blunt shriek, and landed back with his feet on solid ground.

 

 

«Seriously, you need to stop that while I’m talking to you. You’re hopeless».  
Ryoga sighed, putting on his helmet and goggles, and started off the engine.  
His new motorcycle, a roaring beauty the Barians got him for his last birthday, came to life with a deafening growl.  
«I’ll tell my sister if she wants to come. About the sleepover, I’m in. It would be a nice change of scenery, for once, not having all the Barians screaming in my ears because they want breakfast or some other bullshit like that».  
With that, Ryoga kicked off the parking lot and waved at Yuma, before disappearing in the traffic.

 

 

Yuma, on the other hand, was screaming so loud inside his head he wondered how the hell no one was hearing him anyways.

 

 

 

«Yuma, your face is so pale I can almost mistake you for a ghost».  
Straightforward as always, Kari put her hands on her hips after opening the door to an over encumbered Yuma. His face, mostly hidden by dark hair and a streak of red, was indeed so white a spirit would be envious of that complexion.

 

 

«Yeah, well, let me go to my bedroom. I need to drop these off», Yuma replied, not even bothering to look at her in the eyes. He waited for her sister to take a step to the side and went straight up the stairs,  dropping the bags full of gifts and clothing on the floor before diving head first on the bed.  
Yuma hid his face in the fluffy pillow and stayed there, motionless, until he couldn’t breathe anymore.  
Gasping for breath, he sat up on the mattress and fished the small box into his pocket, only then realizing he didn’t take off his jacket before crashing face first.

 

The box was neatly wrapped, embellished with a faded blue and purple bow and identified by a small adhesive with the name of the shop written on it.  
Sighing, Yuma put it on the nightstand and resolved to take off his jacket, starting to feel hot thanks to heating system of the house.  
He then glanced at the messy piles of bags, and decided to sort and put in order everything after dinner.

 

 

 

«How did it go? Did you invite them over?».

 

 

Yuma served himself some rice before answering, refusing to look up at his sister: «Yes, I did. Ryoga said he would ask Rio if she wants to come too».

 

 

«So he said yes!».

 

 

«Yeah…».

 

 

Kari frowned, looking at Yuma from above the chopsticks: «What’s wrong, Yuma? Did something happen between you two?».  
Something bad, she would have wanted to say, but refrained from doing so.

 

 

He shook his head: «No, it’s just…».  
Not knowing how to continue, Yuma grabbed a shrimp with his chopsticks and chewed on it slowly, before gulping down some water and answer: «I asked him if he would like to stay the night».

 

 

«And…?».

 

 

«He accepted».

 

 

«Well, that’s wonderful!», Kari exclaimed, throwing one arm in the air as a victory sign. «I didn’t expect you would ask him… Yuma?».  
The look on his brother’s face made Kari retrace her steps and she scowled: «Yuma, are you okay?».

 

 

«I… I don’t think I am», Yuma admitted, putting down the chopsticks.   
Suddenly he felt a tight knot in his stomach, and the man couldn’t bring himself to eat anymore.   
Yuma was so nervous his hands were shaking, and he repressed the uneasy feeling in his guts that made him want to threw up.  
«Fuck, I don’t even know how to control myself in front of him anymore».

 

 

Kari grimaced at the curse word, but said nothing about it. Yuma wasn’t a kid to be scolded for using bad words.   
Instead, her eyes widened: «What do you mean? You never had problems when hanging out with him, before!».

 

 

«I know! It’s that fucking wish! I shouldn’t have… I… This is bullshit, my common sense is being affected by a stupid wish I wrote on a piece of paper».  
Frustrated out of his mind, Yuma hid his face behind both hands, leaning his elbows on the kitchen table: «I don’t know what to do anymore. I shouldn’t have written that wish. I can’t think straight, now».  
Still trembling, the man raised his head and fixated his gaze on the ceiling, on the lamp hanging from there, until his vision became blurred.  
«What if I screw up?».

 

 

With a gentle smile on her face, Kari got up and walked around the table to sit down next to Yuma: «You won’t. Just be yourself, and things will be sorted out without problems».

 

 

«I _can’t_ be myself! I literally had to run away from him, today!».

 

 

«Yes, you can», Kari replied, more stubborn than him.   
She put a hand on his shoulder, caressing it lightly: «Stop tormenting yourself, Yuma. Nothing bad will happen tomorrow, you have to believe in yourself. And in Ryoga, too».

 

 

Yuma shook his head, shaking off his sister’s hand: «What if I… I don’t know! What if I say something or do something and he goes away? What if I ruin our friendship because of a selfish desire?».  
On the verge of tears, Yuma put his legs on the edge of the chair and hugged them, putting his chin on the knees: «I don’t want to lose another friend».  
The memory of Astral’s departure, still seared in his mind, crossed Yuma’s thoughts and burned and hurt like an open wound, treated but always ready to bleed again.  
He had to watch his best friend, his companion, his other half, go back to his own world, to the plane of existence he belonged to, and he remembered that day too well.

 

He remembered the tears he held back, to avoid worrying the glowing blue alien.  
He remembered the stabbing pain in his heart, and the ear-piercing cries only he himself could hear, trapped in his head.  
He remembered the feel of emptiness, the void the alien left in his soul, when he disappeared alongside the Key.   
And he remembered the long, upsetting and distressing days he endured alone, shooing away everyone and everything that tried to get closer to the him.  
Yuma cried bitter tears, on that day and on many after, and he hoped, he prayed, something like that would never happen again.  
He knew he couldn’t bear another loss, in any shape or form.  
«I don’t want to lose Nash».

 

Yuma got up when he felt tears prickling in his eyes, ready to fall and leave salt trails behind them.  
Kari was worried, and so was his grandma, but he didn’t want to deal with them anymore. His sister was talking to him, but Yuma’s ears were deaf to her voice, and he left without replying, or answering, or saying anything at all.  
He needed to be alone for a while, to sort out his confused thoughts on the matter.  
Ignoring the concerned calls from Kari, Yuma hid in his room and locked the door, glaring at the wooden surface when he heard knocking on the other side.

 

Kari tried to get him to answer, but Yuma paid no attention to her.   
Eventually, she gave up and left, and Yuma sat down on the floor, cross-legged, and began taking every gift out the bags to effectively organize them.  
Truth be told, he needed to do something with his hands while his thought were busy wandering in different directions, just so he wouldn’t punch something out of chagrin or exasperation.

 

Whispering quietly nothings to himself, Yuma transferred all the boxes on the floor and reached for the smallest ones.  
Two identical packages, one slightly bigger that the other, wrapped in glittery indigo paper. They both contained Duel Monsters cards, a holster too for one of them.  
Kite and his brother would be happy to receive those.  
Searching around for a notebook and a pen, Yuma located the objects of his research and recovered them from hid desk, subsequently sitting back down on the floor.  
He scribbled down Kite and Hart’s names on two pieces of paper and attached them to the gifts, setting them aside afterwards.

 

Alongside the two packages, two thoughts stopped their course to settle in a corner of his mind.  
The urge to take Ryoga’s hands in his own and the craving he had for the softness of his skin, both cornered by bits of coherent thinking Yuma finally recovered.

 

Yuma scanned the messy pile of packages and retrieved three of them, each one wrapped in a different color paper and bow.  
The first one Yuma recovered was completely covered in pale red packaging, and contained his gift for Michael Arclight, or Trey as he was commonly known. A mug with the handle shaped like a feathery wing, that immediately caught Yuma’s eyes when he saw it in the shop.  
It was nothing big, but then again, Yuma wasn’t very good at choosing the right gifts for the right occasion.  
After writing Michael’s name on a piece of paper and attaching it to the box, Yuma retrieved Thomas Arclight, or Quattro’s, gift. A white leather jacket that strongly resembled his noble-like attire, hidden by golden wrapping paper.  
Christopher Arclight’s, also known as Quinton, gift was far more out of the ordinary. Yuma had wandered in the woman’s section of a perfume shop for a while, with a bored Ryoga following him, before fixing his eyes on a hair-care set, complete with brushes, combs, and shampoos. The man had to ask Ryoga for advice, and he said Quinton would appreciate it, given how much he loved his long hair.  
Chuckling a bit, Yuma attached Christopher’s name on the package and set it aside with the other three.

 

And again, three more thoughts left the tornado raging in his mind, settling down beside the other two.  
His desperate need of feeling Ryoga’s eyes and hands wander on his body, the aching desire to get lost in those eyes and his soul, and the terrible, nibbling sensation that tried to convince Yuma to give in to his absolute hunger for the man’s soft and wet lips on his own.  
All chained to an imaginary pillar made of resolution.

 

The last pile of gifts was the most colorful one, with six packages wrapped in bright shades of red, indigo, yellow, blue, lilac, plus gray and black. Every box was carefully embellished by gold ribbons, and one of them sported a huge white and icy decoration on the paper.  
Rio’s gift, to be precise, the first one Yuma retrieved from the pile. The box, containing a silver jewelry set composed of necklace, earrings and bracelets, all beautified by arctic crystals and gems, received Ryoga’s sister name on it and was put aside, soon followed by Vector’s gift.  
Fishing out Mizar’s, Yuma chuckled at recalling the expression Ryoga made when he let him see the items that won his attention: a huge pair of gold earrings, shaped with lots and lots of weird angles and adorned by miniature green crystals.   
Durbe’s gift was the most obvious one, being books bounded in lilac paper, while Girag was going to receive a whole collection of the comics he had gotten into because of Yuma.   
Like Vector, Yuma had chosen a sweater for Alit, a cozy shirt tinted blood red, with a purple mask printed on the front.

 

Six gifts for six feelings.  
Yuma chained against the pillar his burning desire for Ryoga’s hands on his body, caressing him, undressing him, shoving him on the bed before leaning down and taking what was rightfully his.  
He put aside the imaginary, blazing feeling of Ryoga’s lips on his own, of his tongue dancing in his mouth, fighting for dominance, as he took pleasure and gave it back.  
Gift after gift, Yuma set aside the aching want that was devouring him silently but inexorably, the culprit behind his hungry dreams, the ones that left him forced to hide and take care of his reason-unresponsive body.  
Amongst the indecent thoughts, a more innocent and sweet emotion made its way through, a faint light in the dark brightness that blinded everything else.  
Yuma bound Ryoga’s influence on his smile, on the blood flow in his cheeks, closing the shackles around the ethereal arms still stretching towards him to prevent them from reaching his logical thinking process.   
He tightened the rope surrounding that marble pillar, trapping against it all the passion he wanted to unwind, all the kisses and the hugs and the delight he wanted to disentangle from the mess of his confusion.

 

When he lay down the last gift, stacked on top of the pile reserved for the Barians, Yuma’s mind wasn’t empty, but it sure was way calmer than it had ever been in the last few hours.  
The man’s hand instinctively clutched at his chest, where the Key used to hung, and met only familiar nothing, searching for a helping voice he couldn’t hear anymore.   
But tears didn’t fall.

 

 

 

«Yuma? Are you alright?».  
Kari returned almost a hour later to knock on the door, worried by the silence coming from his brother’s room.  
Normally, Yuma would be blaring deafening music when upset, to drown his thoughts on whatever matter was bugging him, but that time she heard no noises.

 

 

«You can come in. It’s ok».

 

 

Quickly  reacting to Yuma’s voice, Kari opened the door and stopped surprised by it, looking at the piles of gifts that surrounded his brother on the floor.   
Yuma  stood up in that moment, brushing off the dust from his pants, and smiled at her.  
«You really have to clean your room».

 

 

«I know».

 

 

The silence stretched between them, long enough to become uncomfortable, and Kari decided to take the upper hand: «Yuma… are you feeling alright? You know, there’s nothing forcing you to…».

 

 

«I’m okay, sister. Really. I needed to recollect my thoughts», Yuma replied, before letting her finish. «I’m looking towards tomorrow, actually», he added.  
The uneasy feeling he repressed within his own mind tried to nibble at him, but Yuma pushed it away and widened his smile.  
«I’ll go pick Ryoga and his sister up tomorrow afternoon. I need to give all the Barians their gifts anyway, and I don’t want them to come with his motorcycle. It’s too dangerous with all the snow».

 

 

Kari could feel something was still off, especially because Yuma’s smile was missing its familiar confident shine, but she figured it was all she would get from him.  
Yuma knew too well how to be stubborn, with anything.   
So she shrugged and nodded: «Fine. But you have to be careful too. A car is not less dangerous on icy streets, and you’ll have passengers to take care of», Kari said. «You never drive when there’s snow on the ground».  
With one last glance at his brother, Kari turned away and left the room, not completely relieved but somewhat reassured: «There’s better be a gift for me too, hidden in those piles. My car is not going around without payment», she said with a laugh.  
«Good night, Yuma».

 


	3. Chapter Three

On Christmas Eve morning, Yuma woke up later then he would have wanted.   
His alarm ditched him, and when he opened his eyes and sat up on the bed, shivering in the cold following the disposing of warm sheets and blankets, the clock informed him it was long past midday.  
At first glance he cared little, still sleepy and lethargic, but then he left the bed with a shrieking curse, subsequently running to the bathroom.

 

Yuma washed frantically his teeth, not even registering the icy taste of mint toothpaste, and his face, and ended up getting soap in his eyes.  
Muttering curses under his breath, Yuma reached for a towel and dried his face, trying to get the horrible stinging of soap off his eyes.  
After a while, he said “screw it” and got into the shower, turned on the water and waited for it to warm up.   
There was no point in rushing his lost morning; he would have a quick lunch and then go grab the Kastle siblings after cleaning up.  
When the warm was warm enough, Yuma stepped under the shower head and let the water soak up his hair, which had grown so much they fell like inky cascades along his back.  
He had long lost the habit to style them in impossible shapes, like he did in school, but Yuma still liked to give shape to the long red strands splashing the black with bright scarlet.  
Nothing really similar to the shrimp-like bangs he had a few years before, but still moderately crazy.   
With a satisfied sigh thanks to the hot water trailing down his body, Yuma reached for a sponge and a bottle of shower gel, pouring a huge amount before lathering himself thoroughly.  
After that, the man grabbed a bottle of shampoo and proceeded to wash his hair, scratching at his scalp to make use of all the bubbles.   
When he finally stepped out of the shower, all rinsed and wrapped waist-down with a fluffy towel, someone knocked on the bathroom door.

 

 

«Yuma? Do you want to have lunch? You woke up pretty late».

 

 

«Yeah, well, you _could have_ woken me up», Yuma replied to Kari, though without malice.

 

 

Kari sighed: «I figured you would have wanted a little bit more time to rest».

 

 

«Yeah, I know».  
Yuma grabbed a hairbrush from one of the drawers on the side of the sink and started brushing his dark and red hair: «Sure, I want to have lunch. It’s better than having a late breakfast», he then answered.  
Trying to settle down his frustration for the task he was getting done, Yuma fought with lots of knots in his hair, remembering pretty well that one time he snapped a hairbrush in two.  
Once he was done, and his hair flowed silky on his shoulder, Yuma found the hair dryer and its irritating noise filled the bathroom for a good twenty minutes, and even then the man’s hair were still damp.  
Taking a look at the hour, Yuma scrapped the idea of styling his bangs and got out of the bathroom, heading for his room in order to find and wear warm clothes.  
By the time he searched through the options in his closet, Yuma was shivering uncontrollably, goosebumps forming everywhere on his skin.

 

 

 

The spicy smell of curry lured him down in the kitchen, dressed in the warmest sweater he could find.  
Kari and their grandma were setting up the table, running from one side of the room to the other in order to find plates, spoons and glasses, all while the curry simmered on the stove.

 

 

«Oh, Yuma! I was starting to think you drowned in the shower».

 

 

Yuma grinned at his sister: «But if you talked to me when I was already out of it».

 

 

She brushed off the reply: «Just sit down. Lunch is ready».

 

 

«I want to help».

 

 

Yuma tried to recover glasses, but Kari anticipated him and forced him to sit down: «Don’t worry about it. You’ll help with the cleanup. Sit. Down», she said, placing a glass for each seat.

 

 

«Ugh, fine. What’s the matter, anyway? I’m fine».  
Kari didn’t reply to that, and Yuma shifted his attention on the phone, quickly scrolling through a few new messages he’d got from Tori and Kite.  
She had asked him and the others in the group to hang out after Christmas, to exchange gifts with each other without stealing family time on the holiday itself, and Yuma happily approved the idea.   
Kite’s text, instead, was oriented towards his dueling career, since the older man wanted to know if Yuma was willing to participate in a tournament in January.  
He texted him a brief affirmative reply and also told him if he was free that day.  
At the positive answer, Yuma thanked him and decided to text one of the Arclight brothers too; he would deliver them their gifts before heading to the Kastle’ mansion.

 

 

«There you go».

 

 

Kari placed a plate full of rice and curry in front of Yuma, and the man thanked her, sniffing the delightful spicy smell before sinking the spoon in the dish.  
His sister and their grandma did the same, and the lunch stretched out in silence, occasionally broken by the clinking of glasses and the blunt scraping noise of spoons against plates.  
Most of the times, the few hints of conversation died in embarrassing hush.   
Yuma actually wanted to talk, knowing his sister was worried about him regardless of the small chat they had the night before, but the churning sensation agitating his guts came back again, increasing more and more as Yuma thought about Ryoga coming over.   
It was controllable, though, so he just shoved the feeling back into the deepest corner of his mind to ignore it.

 

Right after finishing lunch, Yuma got up and shooed Kari away, taking care of helping their grandma with the dishes.  
Half a hour later, at 3 pm, Yuma finally finished tidying up the kitchen and ran upstairs, recovering all the gifts (minus the ones for Rio and Ryoga) to put them all in three different bags.  
He then got into his boots and put on the same jacket he wore the day before, and headed back downstairs.  
From the couch in the living room, Kari threw the car keys at him, and Yuma caught them by sheer luck, encumbered with the bags.

 

 

«Be careful, ok? It’s still snowing out there, don’t go too fast and keep your eyes open», she told him, taking on the customary behavior of an anxious parent.   
«Especially when you pick them up. You’ll be responsible for Rio and Ryoga, don’t forget that».

 

 

Yuma puffed, exasperated but happy that someone was telling him that.  
He had only been driving for a year, after all, and often avoided difficult situations like snowy and icy roads. And don’t even get started on streets obscured by mist.  
Nonetheless, Yuma was a really good driver, and Kari trusted his brother enough to give him her car’s keys on more than few occasions.  
«You know I’m cautious about driving, Kari. See you in a couple hours or so. I’m going to bring only a part of the gifts with me, so _don’t even think_ about entering my room and taking a peek of what I’ve bought», he warned her, winking at his sister before heading out.  
He had bought her a new computer, since the one Kari was using was beginning to falter, and didn’t want to ruin the surprise because of her curiosity.  
That’s why he still hadn’t put it under the Christmas tree.

 

The car was ice cold on the inside just as much as the outside, but luckily the handles didn’t freeze overnight, even though it happened quite a lot after a snowing night.   
Yuma put the bags on the back seat and took his place on the driver seat.   
A little bit after, the car came to life with a purring sound, the lit headlights useless in daylight but, then again, mandatory.   
The one time Yuma forgot to turn the headlights on, a robot officer stopped and fined him. Kari had yelled so much Yuma was afraid he was going to become deaf, but fortunately she forgot the episode not long after.  
Yuma shifted into gear and weighed his foot on the gas pedal, slowly releasing the clutch, and the car started moving at a gentle pace.  
Looking left and right before getting on the street, Yuma steered in the direction he wanted to go and hit the gas pedal again, his hand ready to change gear when necessary.

 

 

 

Thirty minutes later, thanks to the awful traffic, Yuma pulled over and parked near the Tenjo’s household, a place he’s gotten accustomed to after spending a lot of time Dueling with Kite.   
He stepped out of the car, recovered the smallest bag in the back seat and hurried to the door, to ring the bell.   
Only a short amount of time passed before Kite opened the door, fully dressed in soft wool clothes.

 

 

«Yuma! I thought you would come sooner», he said, welcoming him inside.

 

 

The man shook his head at the offer: « I’m in a little bit of a hurry, and… sorry. I got stuck in traffic for a while».  
Behind Kite, Yuma could make out the flickering lights of a lit up Christmas tree: «Here, these are for you and your brother», he said with a smile, handing over the bag with the gifts.  
«It’s nothing much, but I hope you’ll like it».

 

 

Smiling thankfully, Kite took the gifts and glanced behind him: «I have something for you too. Wait».  
Yuma’s rival disappeared from the door for a while, and then reappeared with a small package in his hands: «I knew you would give something to us. I couldn’t accept without reciprocating. Here, don’t open it until tomorrow».  
He handed Yuma the gift and gestured at the rooms on the second floor: «Hart participated too. He’s happy you give him something as well, even though you don’t know each other that much».

 

 

«I love making other people happy, that’s it», Yuma shrugged, with a slight blush forming on his face. «Thanks! See you at the tournament?».

 

 

«Of course. Take care, Yuma», Kite waved at him, watching as the younger Duelist climbed back into his car and left.

 

 

 

Cursing again the traffic that seemed worsening every moment he spent stuck in it, Yuma finally pulled up at the Arclight mansion, his cheesy mood slightly darkened by irritation.  
Without even bothering to turn off the engine, Yuma got out of the car and recovered the gifts for the three brothers, quickly ringing the bell right after reaching the door.  
The door was opened shortly after by the oldest of the three, Christopher, who didn’t mask a surprised expression upon seeing Yuma on the entryway.

 

 

«Yuma? What are you doing here? You rarely come over», he said, frowning.

 

 

To answer him, Yuma raised the bag containing the gifts: «I thought it wouldn’t hurt to give you all something for Christmas».

 

 

«What? Yuma, you… you didn’t have to!», Christopher exclaimed.

 

 

His eyes were shimmering with delight, though, so Yuma pushed the bag in his hands: «I wanted to. I just hope you like it. Either I nailed it or failed it».

 

 

Christopher laughed: «I’m sure we’ll like your gifts. I’m just sorry we didn’t think of giving you something as well, now I feel bad».

 

 

Yuma shook it off with a wave of his hand: «No need to. See you, okay? I have to run!».

 

 

 

More than a hour later, thanks to an accident on the road that lead to a deviation and a huge loop around too many blocks, the Kastle’s mansion finally came in sight, and Yuma almost screamed his relief.  
A second later, he wanted to tear his hair off because he would have needed to re-do the entire trip with Ryoga on the passenger seat and Rio in the back seat.  
«Well, shit», he said.  
He almost turned the car around before entering the driveway.

 

Taking a deep, calming breath, more so to dispose of all the stacked frustration caused by traffic and changes of directions alike, Yuma turned off the engine and got out of the car, retrieving the last bag full of gifts he needed to deliver.

 

When Yuma rang the bell, only a few minutes passed before Ryoga opened the door, a sight the younger man drank in delight.  
He was wearing an oversized hoodie with a giant cartoony shark printed on the front, and when he stepped aside to make Yuma room to enter the house, the man noticed huge shark teeth hanging from the hood.   
His purple hair, minus the bangs, were tightly bound in a low ponytail.

 

 

«What the hell happened? You were supposed to be here a hour ago», Ryoga asked, eyeing the bag Yuma was carrying with curiosity.  
«I almost took the decision to ride my bike to your house».

 

 

«Ok, first of all, don’t you even dare riding a motorbike with all this snow on the ground», Yuma said, putting down the bag on the kitchen table.  
Durbe, who was sitting there, intent on reading a book and sipping tea, merely raised an eye to see what was going on before resuming his actions.  
«Well, a greeting would be nice. I even bought you a gift!», Yuma teased, in a jokingly manner.   
The target of his jibe hid a smile behind the book, and Yuma turned his attention back to Ryoga: «Second of all, I stumbled in a traffic jam caused by an accident, and had to drive the long way to come here».

 

 

In that, Rio jumped down the stairs and entered the kitchen, leaping into Yuma’s arms to give him a hug: «Finally! I was starting to think you got lost».  
Right after Rio broke the hug, she pointed at the bag sitting on the table: «What’s that? If those are gifts, you better have bought something for me, too!».

 

 

«I didn’t get lost. And yes, I bought you both something, but your gifts are not in there», Yuma said, seeing Rio was ready to make a mess with all the boxes. «I didn’t know if you were staying the night, Rio, so yours is at my place too».

 

«As for you all – he turned in Durbe’s direction – you better wait until tomorrow before opening your gifts».

 

 

«Much easier said than done, Yuma. You know how impatient Vector can be, when _you_ give him something», Durba replied, not even bothering to distract himself from the book.

 

 

Yuma shivered: «Yeah, he’s obsessive. Well…».  
When the man turned to face Ryoga, he nearly jumped off his skin in noticing the older male was so close their faces almost touched.  
He nearly screamed too.

 

 

«Sorry», Ryoga apologized, taking a step back. «I didn’t think you would turn around like that».

 

 

«N-no problem», Yuma shook his head, praying to not blush. The chains of his bounded feelings twinkled menacingly as the piercing purple eyes looked at him.  
«Let’s go, okay? It’s already late. Say hi to the other Barians for me, Durbe!».

 

 

 

It was long past 7 pm when they got home, Rio still complaining on how slow Yuma drove, but all of them glad to finally be in the warm house.

 

«Well, excuse me if I didn’t want to drive directly into a wall or something. It’s freaking icy out there!», Yuma screeched, not really mad but not willing to give up on the playful argument.  
«You can be an ice queen all you want, but that car is not a sleight with reindeers».

 

 

«Yeah, we’re lucky don’t actually run around wearing a bright red costume and a fake beard».  
Upon hearing all the noise from the entryway, Kari peeked from the kitchen and winked at her brother: «Take off your coats and join us. Dinner’s ready».  
Then, she turned to Rio: «Are you staying the night, Rio?».

 

 

Glancing at Ryoga and Yuma, too busy hanging their coats on the rack in the entryway to notice, she shook her head: «No, I don’t think I’ll stay. Thanks for the offer, though. Not very much people are kind to us like this. They generally avoid everyone of us».  
«Moreover – she whispered, approaching Kari to avoid being heard by the two men – I think it’s better to leave them alone. They really need to sort their relationship out».

 

 

«Hey, what are you talking about? Stop skulking».  
Yuma interrupted them right before moving his feet towards the kitchen, attracted by the mouth-watering smell of homemade fried chicken, fried rice and rolled omelet.  
The kitchen table was a profusion of endless tasty food, and Yuma recognized in the neat mess teriyaki mackerel, one of Ryoga’s many favorite foods.

 

 

«Hey, don’t you even dare steal all the food for yourself».  
Armed with a ladle, Kari threateningly glared at Yuma, pointing towards the hallway: «Wash your hands before sitting down to eat», she scolded him, earning a pouty frown.  
However, he complied without grumbling too much, and managed to take both Kastle siblings with him in the upstairs bathroom.

 

 

 

«You know, Christmas Eve _should_ be a holiday for couples».

 

 

«Grandma?».

 

 

Haru smiled, hinting at the seat beside her, and spoke only once Kari was seated: «You didn’t think about it before suggesting Yuma this dinner, did you?».

 

 

Kari shook her head, glimpsing at the door every now and then for any trace of Yuma and the siblings: «I didn’t, honestly. I suggested this to _help_ Yuma, but…».  
She sighed, slumping her shoulders: «Do you think it’s a bad idea?».

 

 

«Quite the opposite!», the grandma cheerfully replied, without losing her smile. «Maybe they will realize how much they care about each other. Those guys already had their fair share of bad times and memories. It’s time they make some joyful ones», she said.

 

 

«You don’t mind that kind of relationship?».

 

 

«Why would I? I have no right to interfere with someone else’s love life, it’s not up to me choosing who a person should be attracted to. Love is a difficult thing to deal with even if taken alone, after all».  
At that, Haru stopped talking, seeing Yuma and the siblings were back.

 

 

 

«So? Are we eating of what? I’m _starving_ right now».  
His eyes glued to the food, Yuma took a seat and waited for Ryoga and Rio to sit down as well before grabbing some of it, starting with the traditional fried chicken.  
His sister, grandma and the siblings promptly imitated him, and soon enough the whole table was surrounded by people enjoying hot, salty and crispy chicken.  
Upon getting a particularly spicy piece, Yuma almost chocked and had to gulp down an entire glass of cold water, unleashing the amused laughter of everyone present.  
Embarrassed but smiling at the same time, Yuma stretched his arm to get some rolled omelet.  
Simultaneously, Ryoga did the same thing as well, and their hands brushed against one another before reaching their target.

 

Startled, Yuma pulled his hand back, maybe a little too quickly to avoid the gesture being noticeable. His heart was beating at an impossibly fast pace, thumping against his ribcage, and the man gulped.  
With an excuse, he got up the table and ran to the bathroom, locking himself in. His hand were so shaky and unsteady he needed a few tries to turn the key in the lock, and when he succeeded, Yuma slumped down on the cold floor tiles.  
He took deep breaths to calm himself down, cursing the stupid reaction he had.  
It wasn’t the first time they touched, either. Not even the first time from when Yuma had realized his hidden feelings for the man.   
«Why is this happening?».  
A whisper lost in the dim light of the bathroom, lit only by the faint glow filtering through the crack under the door.

 

When Yuma came back in the kitchen, after splashing his face with ice cold water, the chains of his repressed feelings were rusty and damaged.  
The fact that Ryoga was expectantly looking at him, silently searching for an explanation with his sparkly purple eyes made the situation no better.  
And… was he blushing?

 

No, it couldn’t be.  
Yuma shrugged that off, blaming his unstable feelings, and sat back down at the table: «Sorry. I hope I didn’t ruin the mood», he apologized, reaching for a bottle of water.  
He poured some in the glass and started sipping it, occasionally casting a swift glance at his sister; Kari was staring at him, with an undecipherable expression on her face and a strange shimmer lit her eyes.

 

 

«What happened?».  
Concerned, Ryoga was still looking at Yuma in search of an answer, a bit taken aback by his weird reaction, and when he got only a shrug as an answer, he sighed: «Fine, that means you don’t want to talk».   
He wasn’t bitter, though, and resumed the assault he was submitting the teriyaki mackerel to.  
«How did you know this was my favorite food?», Ryoga then asked Haru, grateful for the simple but kind gesture the old woman made.

 

 

She smiled brightly: «I heard Yuma saying you frequently eat that when he comes over, once or twice. I figured you really liked it».

 

 

Yuma’s cheeks flushed again, this time in embarrassment more than crush-induced confusion: «Grandma! Don’t tell him that, come on!», he shrieked, hiding his face behind a napkin.  
“Not now!”, he added mentally.

 

 

Kari snickered: «Oh, come on. Since you’ve known Ryoga you never stopped talking about him. And it was years ago».

 

 

«Don’t encourage her! I was a damn mess of a teenager back then», Yuma pouted, lowering his head to eat what he had left in his plate, struggling with the chopsticks.  
The blush on his face became a bright shade of red, and Yuma was quite intentioned to disappear in the bathroom again.  
Or in a black hole, for what that mattered.

 

 

Rio’s laugh filled the room, a cheerful twinkle from a crystal voice: «Oh, don’t be like that. Ryoga _never_ stops talking about you. “Yuma did this… Yuma did that… Yuma obliterated be at card games again… I can’t believe it, he never shuts up!”. The list is incredibly long».

 

 

It was Ryoga’s turn to spill out an indignant  screech: «RIO! It’s not… I’m not… shut up, ok?!».  
His face burned with an intense shade of pinkish red, and he turned away from Yuma, crossing his arms in a defensive stance.  
He looked like a kid being scolded by his mother after having broken a vase or something.

 

 

«Do you really do that?».

 

 

Ryoga scoffed at Yuma, glaring at him sideways: «It depends. Do _you_ really do that? Scratch that, I know you enough to tell what your answer’s going to be».  
He then sighed, turning his chair to face the table again: «For the record, it’s yes».

 

 

Yuma didn’t ask what that answer was for. He really did want to know, but he had his fair square of embarrassment for the evening, and didn’t want to get involved in a more difficult turn of events.  
Anyway, despite the teasing, it wasn’t by any means a real argument, and the mood stayed joyful, even if Ryoga more often than not kept glowering at his sister.

 

When all plates and trays where almost empty, and everyone around the table was full and content, Haru got up and recovered the Christmas cake from the fridge.  
Yuma eyed the cake while licking his lips; he loved it, even if it wasn’t that complex or original of a dessert. It was a simple shortcake with whipped creams and ripe strawberries , but the man never refused a bite from it.  
But then again, Yuma loved all sorts of sweets, he didn’t care what kind of. Candy, cake, chocolate, nothing could escape his devouring onslaught.

 

Like every other year, the cake was prepared, baked and decorated by Haru, and the old woman proudly smiled when Yuma attacked it with his fork, immediately taking a bite before humming appreciatively: «This is amazing, grandma! How do you manage to get it right every year?».

 

 

She giggled in amusement and winked: «That’s a secret. Do you like it?», she then asked the sibling, that started eating it without thinking twice.

 

 

Ryoga, with his mouth full, could only manage to nod and smile, whilst trying to maintain some kind of composure.

 

 

Rio, on the other hand, smiled politely and talked only after having swallowed her bite: «It’s delicious! I kinda want to know that secret, now», she said, charming as ever.

 

 

«Don’t you dare. If _I_ don’t know the secret, _you_ don’t know the secret!», Yuma retaliated, half chocking on his own cake bite.

 

 

«Oh, come on, you don’t even know how to cook».

 

 

«I’ll learn!».

 

 

«Yuma, the last time you tried to cook you nearly burned down my whole kitchen», Ryoga interfered, after finally gulping down the last bit of Christmas cake on his plate.   
«No one’s letting you near a stove even again in my house. Not even Vector. And he’s trash at cooking».

 

 

Yuma pulled a face: «It wasn’t my fault».

 

 

«It wasn’t your fault the oven _exploded_?».

 

 

«Oh, _maybe_ it was my fault. But the microwave was _your_ fault!».

 

 

«The microw… ok, _that_ was my fault, I admit it. But I never got involved in the incident _you_ caused. I wasn’t even home».

 

 

«Yeah, it was kind of a mess when you got back».

 

 

« _Kind of_ a mess? Everything was on fire. _Everything_. You set fire to a glass of water, for the Numbers’ sake».

 

 

At that, Yuma couldn’t help but burst out in laughter, clearly remembering the dancing flame he and Vector set ablaze on the water using alcohol: «Yeah, that was… we were just screwing with you with that thing. But I guess…».

 

 

«You’re hopeless in the kitchen?».

 

 

«Yeah», he agreed.   
When he turned his head to talk to his sister, he was startled by the fact they were left alone in the kitchen.  
Kari, grandma and Rio weren’t sat around the table anymore, and Yuma hadn’t noticed they left the room while he and Ryoga were talking.   
«Where the hell are they?».

 

Right then, he heard Rio’s shrill voice coming from the living room, and after exchanging a look, both men got up from the table and reached the other room.  
Kari and Rio were slouched on the couch, while Haru was fidgeting with some gifts under the Christmas tree, whistling a happy tune while doing so.  
The TV was turned on, and was broadcasting one of those awful but traditional Christmas movies filled with reindeers, a sleight and an overworked Santa who needed all the help in the world to save his holiday.  
To be honest, Yuma preferred cheesy 3D cartoons about guardians of various celebrations to that boring repetitiveness.   
At least those had amazing voice actors and a credible storyline.  
«Hey, why did you leave so suddenly?».

 

 

Hearing him, Kari barely turned her head to look at her brother: «You seemed so into your conversation we figured we could watch a movie or something. How did you exploded an oven, by the way?».

 

 

Yuma flushed red (again) and puffed: «Long story short, I did something really wrong and then there was fire», he said, crashing on the couch beside his sister. «Lots of fire».  
Ryoga did the same, and Yuma held his breath when the man’s weight made him slid on the cushions and nearly smash into him.

 

 

He apologized, clearing his voice, and brought his attention on the reindeers flying on screen, guided by an overly-enjoyed actor playing Santa.

 

 

Taking a deep breath, Yuma glued his eyes on the movie, not interested in the sleigh flying around with bad SFX effects but too scared to look over at Ryoga’s face.  
He distinctly heard Rio snickering, even with the TV volume turned a little bit too up, but didn’t make a move.  
He was making a fool of himself more than any time, he knew it pretty well.  
And the chains were slowly breaking.

 

 

 

After the movie, less than two hours and a gigantic bowl of popcorn made by Kari later, Haru turned off the TV and shooed everyone in their rooms: «Get going you boys, it’s late. You’ll never get up on time to open your gifts, tomorrow, if you stay up!».

 

 

«Awwww, come on grandma! It’s not even midnight yet».  
Puffing, Yuma got up from the couch and stared at the gifts under the Christmas tree; they weren’t a lot, but to his surprise he noticed Rio’s gifts among the others.   
Even the computer he bought for Kari was there, probably put under the three by grandma.   
Before he could say anything on the matter, however, Haru had already turned off the lights of the room, forcing everybody to leave.  
Kari and Rio headed to the entryway after retrieving the youngest woman’s gift, because Kari took upon her the task to take Rio home, and Yuma saw them exchanging a weird look when he and Ryoga went up the stairs.

 

Swallowing dry, when they entered his room, Yuma avoided any eye contact with Ryoga while searching for a clean pajama in a drawer.   
Alongside his bed, Kari or Haru had arranged another one, smaller in size but covered in warm and fluffy sheets and covers like his own.  
The room didn’t give much space to work with, so the two beds were almost touching, divided only by a small gap, just enough to let a person stand in between them.   
Yuma could, in fact, sleep in the attic, where his hammock was still useful, but that place had too many memories in it, and the man had closed the hatch a long time before.

 

While thinking about the beds, already panicking, Yuma pictured one scenario after another where everything could go wrong, and failed to see any solution in them.  
What if he rolled in Ryoga’s bed accidentally, during the night? The gap wasn’t large enough to avoid that event.  
Or worse, what if he started talking in his sleep, and maybe accidentally confessing his feelings for him?  
What if he slid into his bed unconsciously?   
What if he reached out for him?

 

 

«Are you alright, Yuma? You’ve been holding that for a while, now».

 

 

Ryoga’s voice, while not pacifying his thought, made Yuma realize he was standing in front of the dresser, with a pair of pants in hand, without giving any sign of wanting to move from there.  
«What? Oh, yeah, I’m… I’m alright. I think… I think I’ll go to the bathroom first. You don’t mind, right?».  
Barely spitting out some words, Yuma waited for Ryoga to nod before sprinting out the room and down the hallway, locking himself in the bathroom.

 

Dismayed and horrified by his own thought, Yuma approached the sink and let the water flow for a while, it’s pouring sound quite soothing for his nerves.   
The chains he used to bound his feeling were coming undone, ring after ring was rusting and threatening to break.   
Again, the burning desire of having Ryoga holding him, kissing him, impended on him like a looming shadow, dark and foggy but ready to take its toll.  
Yuma splashed cold water on his face, let icy rivulets and drops fall in the sink from his chin, and took long, deep breaths to calm down.

It didn’t work.   
The image of Ryoga actually sleeping in his room, so near he could touch him just by stretching an arm, didn’t want to leave Yuma’s mind.  
He started picturing him wearing nothing but the tight boxer he once surprised him wearing, after having barged into his room one morning. He saw that memory so clear in his mind, Ryoga’s body was seared in it, a living sculpture that never saw its rightful justice.  
He conjured up the perfect lines of Ryoga’s body, the shape of his firm muscles, his pale and smooth toned build, imagining the man’s hands and fingers caressing him, fondling him, stroking him.  
He pictured Ryoga falling on his knees in front of him, taking Yuma until the man would come undone.

 

Without even thinking about what he was doing, his mind too fixated on that particular, arousing image, Yuma’s hand slowly slid down his body and reached between his legs, still hugged by heavy jeans, and started stroking with almost mechanical movements, following the course of Yuma’s mind.  
When the man snapped out of it, realizing only then what he was doing, he tried to hold back but the damage was done.  
«…Fuck».

  
He couldn’t go back outside in that state, not even if he really wanted to at that point. He was so hard it almost hurt, and he wasn’t going to die down that fast.  
Groaning in frustration, Yuma unfastened his belt and jeans and slid them down his legs, soon followed by his briefs.  
Holding back the noise as much as he could while working his hand in painfully quick motions, the man grabbed a handful of toilet paper and bit down a cry when he came, spilling his release with Ryoga’s name on his lips, unspoken but there.  
Taken aback by his own actions, heavy breathing, Yuma disposed of the toilet paper and bend down on the sink, grabbing its sides so hard his knuckles became white.  
«What the fuck is happening to me?», he said, murmuring at his own flushed reflection.

 

Sighing, Yuma turned on the water again and reached for the toothbrush, cursing himself over and over.

 

 

 

Once he went back in his room, Yuma found out Ryoga had already changed into his sleepwear, and was dressed in a purple and blue pajamas, fair to his favorite colors.   
He was fiddling with something in his hands, but put it away before Yuma could investigate on the matter.

 

 

«Are you okay? You look a bit… flustered», he inquired, tilting his head while looking at the man in front of him.

 

 

Yuma froze in shock for a moment, but regained his composure: «Yeah, no, I’m… I’m fine. Really», he replied, plopping on the bed right after.  
The bed frame creaked under his weight when he shifted, facing the wall rather than Ryoga. The man was still looking at him, Yuma could feel his gaze piercing through his skull, but didn’t want to face him.   
What happened in the bathroom, the fact that happened _while_ Ryoga was in house, put a stop to his communication attempts.   
Hell, Yuma imagined Ryoga was actually sucking him off, and masturbated to that.  
He never did that.  
Sure, some… dreams made him wound-up enough to do the same thing, but Ryoga was never involved in that kind of way.

 

 

«Yuma…?».

 

 

Without answering, Yuma closed his eyes and obstinately continued to face the wall, not even hinting on wanting to turn around and talk to Ryoga.   
He had already caused enough damage to last for a whole eternity.  
When, however, he slightly opened them after hearing a rustling of feet, thinking Ryoga had given up and headed to the bathroom, Yuma sat up and recoiled, finding the man’s face so close to his own he could feel his breath caressing his eyelashes.

 

 

«What’s happening to you? You’ve been like this for the whole evening, and yesterday too! What’s wrong?».  
Concerned, Ryoga tried to approach Yuma, but the man drew back again, fleeing from his touch: «Yuma?!».

 

 

Yuma turned his back at him again: «Go away. You can’t help», he replied, barely able to say those words.   
A lump formed in his throat, and the man felt his insides binding themselves in a knot: «Go to sleep. Please, just _go to sleep_ ».  
Unwanted tears prickled his eyes, but he pushed them back, refusing to make eye contact with Ryoga even when he came around the bed to face him.

 

 

«I want to help you! What’s bothering you?».

 

 

Yuma miserably snorted, and turned his head to the side: «You can’t help me».

 

 

«Why? Why can’t I help you?»

 

 

«Do you want to know why?».  
Defeated, filled with doubts, fear and inexplicable rage, Yuma couldn’t stop the tears he was holding in from falling anymore.  
He felt them trickle down his face, while his shoulders and hands shook uncontrollably, and looked at Ryoga straight in the eyes, brilliant red lost in dazzling purple, smiling bitterly: «Because _you_ are bothering me, Ryoga. _You_ are the reason of this. _You_ are the fucking bastard that’s making me cry and yell and be so confused I don’t even know what to do anymore!», he shouted, spitting in his face sour but real words.   
«You _ruined_ me».

 

 

«Yuma…».

 

 

«Shut the fuck up!».  
Without thinking, lost in his own exasperation and resentment, Yuma suddenly grabbed Ryoga by the hem of his shirt and crashed their lips together, in a kiss that was messy, desperate and soaked by salty tears, a frantic search for a connection Yuma desired for too long and was never able to achieve.  
All together, the chains of his feelings snapped, springing in every direction of his mind, and the pillar to which he bound them collapsed like a tower of glass, scattering debris everywhere.   
«I love you! I fucking love you, Nash!», he cried, abruptly breaking the kiss and falling backward on the bed, still shaking from head to toe.  
There, he said it.  
He kissed Ryoga.  
He  confessed his feelings to him.  
He called him Nash, a name he never used, a name he felt was too personal and intimate, after the war.  
Now all he needed to do was start finding a way to cope with the loss of another friend, because of that stupid, reckless action.   
He started crying for good, hiding his face behind his hands: «I love you…», he repeated, between sobs, words hardly noticeable. «And I don’t want to lose you».

 

 

Slowly but surely, Ryoga recovered from the shock and came close to Yuma, touching his swollen lips on which the man’s taste was still lingering.  
Gradually, he climbed on his bed and leaned on Yuma from his side, extending out an arm to grab his, bit by bit removing it from the man’s face, removing that flimsy shield with all the kindness he was capable of.  
In response, Yuma turned his head on the side, his tears staining the pillow beneath it, but Ryoga didn’t gave him more time to drown in his dejection.  
Instead, he put both his hand on the man’s cheeks and made him turn his head so he was facing Ryoga again, with a tender gentleness he so rarely displayed, and leaned down to let their lips meet again, in a softer kiss that time, with no hurry, no clashing of teeth and no mess.  
Smiling, drying down the man’s tears with more tiny kisses, Ryoga pushed away strands of rebel red hair and lay his forehead on Yuma’s: «I’m never going to leave, Yuma», he said, his breath tickling on the other man’s lips. «You’ll never lose me».

 

 

And that, for Yuma was more valuable than Ryoga saying an actual “I love you”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

On Christmas Day, when Kari went to wake up his brother and Ryoga, she was left speechless upon the scene she stumbled upon.  
Speechless, but with a smile wider than any other she had ever had on her face.  
Yuma and Ryoga connected their beds and were sleeping peacefully in the shadowy room, two intertwined figures too vague to be fully distinguished.  
For what Kari could see without turning on the lights, squinting at the blurry shapes, Yuma was curled into Ryoga’s arms, his face hidden in the crook of the man’s neck, and they were both buried under a ton of fluffy covers to fight the cold night.   
Their soft and calm breathing as the only sound filling the room, and Kari didn’t have the heart to wake them up.   
Quietly, she stepped back and closed the door, deciding to delay the morning, happy that her brother finally found the courage to tell Ryoga how he felt.

 

 

 

At 11 am, Yuma was woken up by an hurricane barging into his room.  
Screeching something about going down the stairs, Kari opened the window’s curtains and let the faint sun rays flow in the bedroom, highlighting every surface they could reach.  
Complaining in a low voice, still too sleepy to tell his sister to go away and leave him alone, Yuma nestled deeper below the covers.  
A moment later, after hearing Ryoga’s gentle laugh, Yuma sprang up and threw a pillow at Kari: «What the hell, go away!», he yelled, blushing so hard his face turned from pink to blazing red in point two seconds.

 

 

She caught the pillow and threw it back, hitting Yuma in the face: «Come on, it’s Christmas! Don’t you want to open your gifts?».  
Kari winked and backed up, out of the room: «Wear something and join us downstairs. Grandma made cinnamon waffles and tea», she said, before closing the door and head down to the living room.

 

 

Still blushing, Yuma turned his head to look at Ryoga, now sat up on the bed, and subtly laughed: «I’m not dreaming, am I?».

 

 

Ryoga’s lips curved up in a tender smile as he leaned forward, raising a hand to caress Yuma’s cheek: «Do you want to find out?», he asked, his lips a breath away from Yuma’s.

 

 

In response, Yuma closed the gap between their lips in a chaste kiss, tangling his fingers in Ryoga’s messy hair, and let the man held him right after, listening to his heart beat.  
Then, he lifted up his head again, tilting it to the side: «Ryoga… for how long did you…».

 

 

«For how long I liked you?», he completed for him.

 

 

Yuma nodded.

 

 

«Well…».  
Scratching the back of his head, visibly embarrassed judging by the slight blush forming on his cheeks, Ryoga let out a low giggle: «I… I don’t know the exact point in which I actually realized it. But it’s safe to say I fell for you the first time I saw you. I just… I don’t know. You bewitched me, in some weird way. You saved me from the mess I was, gave me a friend. You never gave up on me, even after all the horrible things I said to you. Even after the whole… the whole Barian Emperors issue. I don’t know when I realized I loved you. I just know I was too scared to confess that love to you».  
He shook his head, interweaving his fingers: «I’m sorry I never told you. I know how much it hurts, not being able to tell your feelings to the person you love. I… I was afraid I would lose you».

 

 

Kari was right, after all.  
Yuma stretched out his hands to take Ryoga’s into his own, gently stroking the back of them with his thumbs: «I’m sorry I blamed my problems on you. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, yesterday. I was so angry and confused, I…  - a sigh - oh, man. What a mess», he said, puffing out a laugh.

 

 

«You know, I’m actually glad you snapped. If not, I don’t think I would have ever had the courage to tell you. I’m useless at relating with people, and I probably would have thought “screw it, I can live with this” and moved on», Ryoga replied, nuzzling his face on red and black disarrayed hair. «There’s only one thing I want to know. You never acted like that, before. I mean, I never got any hint on your… well, your feelings for me. What happened to you?».

 

 

«You know the Christmas tree they build every year in Heartland?».  
Yuma sighed at seeing Ryoga nodding: «Well, usually I leave wishes on that. You know, traditions and stuff. I always loved to do that, especially when I was a kid. However, for years I’ve never left a single wish for me. I always wrote down some phrases for people in need of help, wishes for them to be happy and never lose hope. But…».  
He smiled, hugging Ryoga so tight his face ended up pressed on his chest: «This year I wanted something for me. I wanted to regain some hope for myself».  
With a small laugh, Yuma raised his head so he could look Ryoga in the eyes: «I hung there a simple wish, written on a Fish-Type card. The first one you used in our first Duel. And I hoped for you to be with me. I hoped to have enough courage to came out and reach you. I hoped you wouldn’t reject me. I’m happy my wish came true».  
Tears trickled down his face, but Yuma didn’t feel pain, didn’t dry them away.  
Those were tears of pure happiness, an emotion he suppressed for too much time, deprived of it by the devastating loss of someone that had been his other half, shadowed by the continuous anxiety and unease the war left on him.  
«I’m happy you’re here with me».

 

 

«Yuma…».  
Whispering, Ryoga left a kiss on the man’s hair, stroking his back in a soothingly manner: «I’m happy I’m with you, too»

 

 

 

Half a hour later, dressed in cozy sweaters, Yuma and Ryoga plopped down on the couch in the living room, comfortably warmed by the electric fireplace.   
On the coffee table, neatly arranged on a tray, there were two cups of steaming hot tea and a bunch of waffle covered with cinnamon syrup, Yuma’s favorite Christmas Day breakfast.   
Kari was slouched on the armchair, busy reading a brand new book about journalism, probably gifted to her by Haru, and reacted to their presence with a smile.  
Under the three, Yuma noticed a fuzzy teddy-bear, bright red with a notebook sewn on his right paw and a pen on the left.

 

Once cups and plates were left empty, Yuma took the tray to the kitchen, in which his grandma was preparing lunch, and ran upstairs to get Ryoga’s gift from his room.  


A few minutes later, the small box hidden under his huge sweater, Yuma came back down the stairs and jumped on the couch, landing right next to Ryoga.   
He then glanced at Kari and the woman, seized the allusion, closed the book with a snap, excused herself y saying she wanted to help Haru in the kitchen and left the room.

 

Yuma cleared his voice as soon as the room became silent and occupied only by the two men, and pulled out the wrapped gift from its improvised hiding place.   
By the time he handed it to Ryoga, his hands were shaking: «Merry Christmas, Ryoga! I… I hope you like it», he said, feeling his face heating up.

 

 

Ryoga’s eyes widened as he saw the gift from Yuma’s hands, his own lingering on the other man’s fingers as he took it: «You shouldn’t have, Yuma…».

 

 

«Oh, shut up and open it!», Yuma countered, pushing the box in his direction. «It’s not much, I just thought you’d like it».

 

 

With a curious smile, Ryoga carefully unwrapped the box and was left with a gaping jaw.  
Inside the box, lay on a delicate and tiny pillow, a gold necklace shimmered under the living room’s lights, reflecting it so perfectly it glowed.  
Its shape resembled a trident, but with four crooked points instead of three, and was dotted by shiny and minute amethysts. A bigger one, cut to resemble a diamond, rested on the lower part of the pendant, half merged with gold, half free from its precious binding.   
Gasping, still with his mouth wide open, Ryoga realized the pendant was incredibly similar to the sort of crown he “wore” on his forehead while being Nash, something he would have never thought Yuma could remember.

 

«How… how did you find it? _When_ did you find it?».

 

 

Yuma smiled, content with Ryoga’s reaction: «I bought it the day before yesterday. While you were busy building the plush for Rio. And for Kari», he added, earning an embarrassed eye roll.   
«I was lucky. Do you… do you like it?».

 

 

«You’re asking me if I like it? Yuma, this thing is beautiful!».  
Without thinking, Ryoga flung his arms around Yuma and pulled him in for a long kiss, still smiling, showing him how much that simple pendant meant.  
He was astounded by how much Yuma had been able to forgive him, to _accept_ him, despite his true nature. He knew Yuma didn’t gave him that particular necklace just because he was sure Ryoga would like it.  
«Thank you!».

 

Then, he broke the embrace, heat blazing on their cheeks again, and reached for a small bag he hid under one of the couch pillows; it was simple, with no recognizable shop names or anything, and weighed almost nothing.  
«I… I got you something too. I’ll be honest with you. If you want to punch me for giving you this, you can. I wasn’t sure of this when I had it made for you. You… you don’t have to take it, if you don’t want to».

 

 

Yuma frowned: «What? Why?».

 

 

«I… well, this is… just open it», Ryoga said, putting the bag in Yuma’s hands. He could feel his own heart thumping with nervousness.

 

 

Confused, Yuma opened the bag and reached for the content inside; a tiny rectangular box, painted in a faint shade of light and dark blue.   
«What is it?», he asked.  
When he opened it, his breath hitched.  
«This… this is… how…?».  
As he took out the pendant from the box, Yuma’s hand was shaking, making the jewel catching all sorts of light angles.  
The Emperor’s Key hung from a delicate silver chain, radiant point and spikes covered in gold, a shiny spherical gem glimmering on the top part of it.   
Except, it wasn’t the Emperor’s Key.  
Not exactly.  
That pendant was lighter in weight, and smaller, and the gem wasn’t some outer space green stone, but a polished blue sapphire.  
Yuma felt tears prickle at his eyes, but he smiled from ear to ear, laughing while the salty drops streamed on his face: «How did you…».

 

 

«I described it to the goldsmith. I… I thought you missed him».  
Ryoga sighed, reaching out to catch Yuma’s tears: «Maybe this wasn’t a good idea».

 

 

Yuma shook his head, smiling even wider: «No, it’s… It’s okay. I’m okay. This is… this is absolutely stunning».  
Then, his smile saddened: «You’re right, I miss him. He’s been my other half, not just a friend. He helped me in so many occasions I could never repay him enough. But… you gave me something to have Astral near me again, even if he will never be here anymore».  
He wore it, sliding the thin chain around his neck: «Thank you. You gave me back my friend».  
Yuma raised his hands on Ryoga’s face and tilted his head, kissing him in a longer, deeper way that he’d done it before.  
He felt Ryoga’s hand coming up to tangle in his hair and rest on his neck, pulling him forward.  
The door creaked behind them, when Kari poked her head in the living room, but Yuma didn’t care.   
Yuma cared only for the man in front of him, the man he ran after for so long he became desperate.

 

Yuma fell with his back on the couch with Ryoga hovering over him, and they kissed until they ran out of breath, breaking apart just enough to take some air into their lungs.  
And then they laughed.  
They laughed and kissed and laughed again, refusing to undo their embrace, not even when Ryoga lost his balance and collapsed on top of Yuma, stealing his breath from him.

 

 

Kari, from her spot, could only curve her lips in a beaming smile before calling them out for lunch.

 


End file.
